Why Communication Breaks Down

One of the most crucial elements in any relationship is communication and when communication breaks down its imperative that you find out the cause of the breakdown so that you can try to fix the problem before it destroys the relationship. Communication can break down in a relationship for a variety of reasons including the birth of a baby, financial strains and distrust in the relationship. Regardless of the cause of the communication breakdown, it is vital to the health of the relationship to reopen the lines of communication.

While the birth of a couple’s first child may be a glorious and blessed event that they were both looking forward to, the arrival of a new baby may put strains on the relationship. Specifically there may be a communication break down after the baby’s birth. There are a number of reasons why communication breaks down after the birth of a baby. The addition of a new element into the relationship that previously included just the two partners can be stressful. While they don’t begrudge the attention that their partner lavishes on the new baby it does take an adjustment period to deal with the fact that they no longer have their partner’s undivided attention. As the couple learns to balance their time and ensure that both their partner and their child are receiving enough of their attention, there may be a period where the stress of making this adjustment causes a breakdown in communication. Also, typically the birth of a baby leads to a complete change of schedule as well as a stretch of sleep deprivation for the couple. While the couple may have previously been used to doing things as they please, they now realize that most activities must be planned around the baby’s schedule which is often unpredictable. This new scheduled coupled with the lack of sleep that typically plagues new parents can put a great deal of pressure on the relationship. To avoid this type of communication breakdown it is important for the couple to realize that they need to allot time to spend with the baby and also with each other. They also need to realize that the sleep deprivation is affecting them both and take turns getting up with the baby. These few simple steps can go a long way in reversing or preventing a communication breakdown. Although a new couple loves their new baby, the challenge of adapting to the baby’s schedule can be one reason why communication breaks down in a relationship and it is up to the couple to ensure that their relationship does not suffer a communication breakdown.

A concern over financial matters is another reason why communication breaks down. Struggling with financial issues can be extremely stressful for either one or both partners in a relationship. If one partner typically handles the finances in a relationship they may not wish to worry their partner so they may struggle internally with the financial concerns. While this is a noble gesture, it can also cause a communication breakdown in the relationship. The one partner may feel that this is a burden they need to bear on their own and therefore avoid talking about the subject with their partner. The problem with this is that in trying to avoid conversations regarding finances they may end up avoiding conversations all together. For example, a conversation about where to go out to dinner may be avoided because thinking about spending too much money on leisure activities causes too much anxiety on one of the partners. The partner who is unaware of the financial concerns may be offended by their partner’s avoidance of a simple conversation. One way to avoid or reverse having a communication break down over finances is to share the responsibility of the finances and openly discuss concerns over financial matters. Doing this will ensure that neither partner becomes consumed by financial matters and allows it to affect the relationship. Finances can induce enough stress to destroy even the most secure relationships by causing a communication breakdown but planning ahead and speaking openly about finances can help a couple to avoid a communication breakdown.

Distrust is another factor that can affect communication in a relationship. If one of the partners has a reason to be suspicious of the other it creates a distrust that directly affects communication. Also, if one person has a reason to feel guilty in a relationship, it may result in a breakdown in communication. This lack of trust or guilt often results in the couple not wanting to communicate either because they don’t want to have their suspicions confirmed or because they don’t want their secret to be revealed. These feelings of suspicion or guilt may lead to strained conversations that are purposefully not very meaningful. One way to avoid a breakdown in communication in this situation is to always be upfront with your partner. Whether it’s suspicion or guilt that is driving your fear of communication, being honest with your partner will alleviate your fears and reopen the lines of communication. You run the risk of having your suspicions confirmed but it’s better to be sure than to destroy your relationship while doubt remains.

Since open and honest communication is critical to a healthy relationship, it’s important to understand why communication breaks down and work to avoid a breakdown in communication. Having an understanding of the causes of communication breakdown will help you to either avoid or reverse this situation. Maintaining or restoring communication can ensure that a relationship endures and thrives.

Live,Love & Learn,
C.D.

Separating Love From Lust

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines love as, “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties,” and defines lust as, “an intense longing”. These two conflicting definitions help to separate love from lust. By definition alone the two differ in that, love is based on an affinity while lust is based solely on desire. The two also differ in how they affect a relationship but sometimes it becomes difficult to separate the two because lust can exist in the presence of love. Analyzing a loving relationship and a lustful relationship separately will help us to learn to distinguish love from lost.

Love has a positive affect on a relationship because when love exists in a relationship both partners hold the happiness of the other in a high esteem and place the happiness of their partner ahead of their own desires. Love affects relationships in a myriad of ways including how the couple interacts, the leisure activities they participate in and the longevity of the relationship. In a loving relationship the couple behaves thoughtfully towards each other and is mindful of their partner’s feelings. In this type of relationship, each partner places themselves ahead of their partner and they strive to treat each other lovingly and with respect. Also, in a loving relationship the leisure activities that the couple participates in are based on a mutual love and respect. Activities are chosen with careful consideration to the partner’s feelings. In a loving relationship the partners typically engage in activities that they either either strongly agree on or those that are a compromise. While a couple in a loving relationship may not always be in complete agreement regarding leisure activities, they strive to compromise to ensure that both partners have the opportunity to engage in their preferred activities. Finally a relationship that is based on love is usually long lasting. The presence of love in the relationship enables a couple to work through any problems or difficulties that arise in the relationship and helps the relationship to endure. The thoughtfulness and caring that exists in a loving relationship helps the relationship to grown and endure.

Conversely a lustful relationship may not necessary have a negative affect on a relationship but it also may not be as positive as a loving relationship. Similarly to love, lust also affects a relationship in regard to how the couple interacts, the activities the couple participate in and the durability of the relationship. The primary difference between a lustful and a loving relationship is that while in a loving relationship the partners place a high value on the happiness of their partner, a lustful relationship is one in which the partners are consumed by their own desires. The partners in a lustful relationship place their needs and wants ahead of their partner’s desires. This alone is enough to make their partner feel disrespected and to not place a high value on the relationship. The fundamental selfishness that exists in a lustful relationship trickles down and affects the activities in which the couple participates. While those in a loving relationship strive to compromise and find activities that they both enjoy, those in a lustful relationship are more prone to insist on participating in activities that they enjoy regardless of whether or not their partner will also enjoy this activity. One final characteristic of a lustful relationship is that it is typically short lived. A lustful relationship is driven by passion and desire and once a goal is reached the partner becomes no longer desirable. With nothing else to drive the relationship it soon begins to wane and the couple often separates. Lustful relationships are characterized by a selfishness and lack of respect that typically results in a short and tumultuous relationship.

Complicating the issue of separating love and lust is that it is often possible for lust to exist within a loving relationship. The existence of lust within a loving relationship is often driven by a desire to become closer to the partner. This is a natural occurrence as a physical relationship is extremely important in a romantic relationship. When lust exists within a loving relationship it is not necessarily detrimental to the relationship. As long as the lust does not take over the love and become the dominant characteristic it can be a healthy part of the relationship. The opposite is not true, however. A lustful relationship can not also include love. The primary characteristic of selfishness does not enable love to factor into a lustful relationship. Placing your own desires ahead of your partner’s precludes the formation of a loving bond. While it’s not possible to have a lustful relationship with the existence of love a little bit of lust mixed into a loving relationship can lead to a closer connection and stronger bond for the couple.

Separating love from lust can be complicated but the key factors to remember is that a loving relationship is one based on selflessness and thoughtfulness while a lustful relationship is characterized by selfishness and thoughtlessness. These fundamental differences often affect whether or not a relationship will be long lasting and will endure the test of time. The separation of love from lust is further complicated by the fact that lust can exist in a loving relationship. The opposite, however, is not possible. Understand that lust can factor into a loving relationship and have a positive affect on the relationship is key to understanding the differences between love and lust.

Live,Love & Learn,
C.D.


About the author:
C.D. Madison is one of the most diversely successful entrepreneurs today with her specialty store E Nella Borsa (www.enellaborsa.com). She is a recognized author, speaker, radio host and certified sex educator. She’s the host of Candy Shoppe Live(www.candyshoppelive.com) an online radio show featuring the top adult toy creators in the industry, life coaches and relationship experts. She is currently writing her first book on dating.

A New Sexual Revolution

Despite the sexual revolution in the 1960s, the fact is, many Americans still feel that sex is a taboo. Each person has different sexual preferences and though there are those who are very vocal about their needs in bed, there still are others who opt to keep silent for fear of being called vulgar.

Researchers nowadays are saying that another sexual revolution is well underway, as evidenced by the high rating of shows that has sex-related content. In a recent study conducted by Jean Twenge of San Diego State University, it was found out that 50% of teenage girls are already having sex, and are also considered the leaders of the teen sexual revolution in the new world. The issue of oral sex is now seen in a new light as more and more teenagers no longer see it as disgusting. The trend shows that sex has moved past the boundaries of relationships, marriage and pleasure towards the quest for pleasure.

With the knowledge of teenage sex, how many parents have bothered to educate their children about the pros (if any) and cons of early sexual activities? Studies show that parents would rather pretend that their children have no idea what sex is yet and talking about it would make them more curious, which could lead to experimentation.

But this is definitely not the case. Children can now access sites featuring couples having live sex, or a live sex show with hot models as stars. No, teenagers nowadays are no longer as innocent as we want them to be, and despite the many precautions parents take to prevent their children from sexy webcam chat rooms and club live sex, it just isn’t enough. Children still need to be educated by their parents. They need to know that they are not the only one experiencing things such as arousal or even masturbation. Children are confused and for them to be properly guided towards their societal roles, parents still has the biggest part of it.

I still believe that the biggest problem with the teenage lies on the fact that technically speaking, they still are children. Biologically, teenage girls are not yet equipped to bear healthy children. Aside from this, the spread of sexually transmitted diseases can easily affect teenagers as most of them refuses to follow the lesson taught in sexual education.

People blame teenage pregnancy to the proliferation of sex-related media and easy access to porn sites. It is true that several studies have found a relationship between early sexual experimentation and sexual innuendos in TVs and movies. But hey, you can’t blame everything to media. True, the media is cluttered with so much sex-related content but still, you are responsible for your kids. Cam to cam sex stars don’t tell your children to go out and have sex with the next girl they see. Leaving your children uneducated and clueless about this topic when everyone else is talking can only leave them to be more curious if not as closed up as you are, and the cycle continues.

Live, Love, Learn

How To Get Your Man To Pamper You?

To your surprise there will probably be more things that you may want to avoid doing to win the favor of your man to get a chance at the “All Might Pampering”. In some cases you may want to avoid doing certain things if you want to keep him comfortable with pampering you. So that would make this article good for women who are getting pampered and those who aren’t.

Try to keep it real with yourself and face the fact that no one owes you a foot rub, back rub, or what you may consider pampering. With women’s movements and the lack of chivalry in today’s society you are now being put on the level of being equal with a man. If you’re the type of woman that believes in women being treated as equals, the type that holds to more older traditional values, or you maybe the type that likes to pull either card when it is convenient (This is a major don’t do). All this is totally irrelevant. Both types are now being treat like equals regardless of what you may believe or hold true too. So if your feet hurts after a long days work or maybe they just hurt from doing so much walking through the park or shopping mall. Guess what? No, one owes you pampering.

Communication is still the number one key. The problem I believe that most women are having is in this area. So that you can see if you are having problems with this I will first give you a few pointers on how to tell. Then we will go into some more “Don’ts” to help get you going in the right direction or to help some not run into problems and lose there quality time.

• If the words “Darling we need to talk.” make him grunt and groan like he’s in pain.
• If you where getting catered to but now its only upon request.
• You seem to feel a little like you are bugging him by asking
• He’s told you that he’s not going to do that and why he’s not
• When you guys start to communicate it usually ends in a argument

One thing you should remember is you are not going to change a person. That is something that has to happen with in and with time. Being forceful and fighting will only drive him away from the issue even more and maybe from you all together. And finding a new partner that will do the pampering. Well, I can only say “the grass may be greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed”. So when you do communicate try to keep it simple by using the OUR #1 RULE: “Speak to him as you would have him speak to you”. Men feel more comfortable in conversations where they feel respected or honored. For example: you have a women who is getting her “half job foot rub” from arguments and beating him down with consent harassment. On the other hand you have a woman that is sweet and persuasive that is getting a awesome foot rub that could even lead to night out with the girls, shopping or who knows what.

My woman’s girlfriend said she had come home from a long days work and asked to be massaged because her back and feet where aching. The response she got was his back and feet where aching also. So of course she got upset. I feel that if she wouldn’t have gotten upset she may have noticed a light bulb turn on. Remember don’t be argumentative but be persuasive. What she should have replied was “I’m sorry you had a hard day too dear, Why don’t we both take turns rubbing each others kinks out and listening to those CD’s that we both like”.

If you are wanting to be catered to then you must be willing to cater to him also. Remember you are a equal now, right? First find out what he likes and how he likes it. Men love catering too. Matter fact there is not much difference between you two. You guys just handle emotions and life situations differently as well as communicate your feelings differently. But there is no difference between your struggles.

Don’t over do it. Try not to get into a mind frame where it is expected or not appreciated because the minute he feels it is not appreciated or this type of treatment wouldn’t be given to him since you guys are equals. The pampering my go right out the door. Barking out instructions during the course of the pampering like giving instructions on how to rub your feet while he’s actually doing it is a major NO, NO. This should be avoided by letting him know when you guys do discuss it. For example: “Yeah, honey when you gave me my rub that way it was really nice”. Also try not to discuss catering too much. Even nice words spoken over and over are irritating.

Making him feel like he owes you for the breakfast that morning or something you bought him when you went shopping yesterday is a real big turn off. That could put a major damper on the pamper parade. In some cases you may be dealing with a different case and scenario then I have described and that’s ok too. I will now give you a helpful summary list that a woman can apply to win favor with her man and have a better chance at getting pampered.

• No one owe’s you pampering
• You can’t change anyone
• The grass may be greener but it still must be mowed
• Be persuasive and sweet, not combative and forceful
• Try not to give instructions on the pampering during pampering
• Speak to him as you would have him speak to you

If I could sum it all up. I would say that the main focus from here own out needs to be in changing you and your approach to get your man to participate in the act of you guys pampering each other. Have fun out there!

In Preparation for the Big Date . . .

After the invitation to have a date with you, yes you could rejoice a bit but this must not take you for so long, you need to prepare for the day, the real day that you have been wishing for to arrive. Your preparation matters most. When you do not know what exactly to do, let us lend you our guides.

These are the tips that would surely let you walk the right path for the date you have pictured out:

Set an early date for that date.
When you set such a date weeks after, it could just make your patience brittle and it would just pile up stress unto you. At first, you may feel that excitement inside you but as the days grow longer, you may get more and more impatient.

Choose a less formal venue
For the first date, it would not be too comfortable if you choose a place where you would feel stuffy. Better have in mind a venue that is less formal but more fun. The too much formality thing may just stop you from getting to know each other well.

Lunch time for the first time.
To all those who are having a “get to know each other date”, it is advisable to have an early date so that rushing plans to make the time special may not happen. There could still be that romantic touch though the sun is out. Evening dates may come after the first date.

Think more of the person not the place.
Pressures about the venue, the food to order and the clothes you would wear. These are just secondary and they do not have to post so much pressure on you. If you allow this to happen, you would surely get carried away with the pressures and forget the real purpose of the date.

Informal but not scruffy
As mentioned above, you have to choose a venue that is less formal but it does not mean that it has to be scruffy and you do not have to look as one scruffy thing as well. Look presentable though not that very formal.

Your wealth is not the topic
There are a lot of fun and light things to talk about, do not brag about what you or your parents have. This would not be so nice for a topic that may just spoil the rest of the time. Humility would surely be a ticket to more dates.

These are just some of the many tips you need to have in your heart so that you would also have those good memories to be brought about by the great date you have. Of course, you have your own way of making this day special too.

7 Warning Signs That She is Not Interested in You Anymore

To break up a relationship is a harder decision when we talk about a long term one. In most cases when woman is no longer interested in a relationship she doesn't want to be the one to
end it.

To break up a relationship is a harder decision when we talk about a long term one.

In most cases when woman is no longer interested in a relationship she doesn't want to be the one to end it. But even when she is already made the decision to break it up, she will take some time to give you some signs to prepare you, before she
tells you.

If you feel that something is going wrong it is time to take a closer look at your relationship. Here are seven warning signs she is no longer interested:

1. This is probably the most classic subtle signal of all: her life become too hectic. She hasn't picked up the phone for a few days and when she does, she is busy and pretending that she doesn't have time to met you. This isn't necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you are used to meet her frequently then there is something wrong.

2. Eventually, when she decided to spend some time with you she keeps looking around to find something to do or someone else to talk to. However, when a woman is interested, she puts in the effort by giving you her full attention.

3. She's secretive and no longer wants to tell you where she has been or who was on the phone.

4. Don't forget that women love to talk. If she doesn't ask you questions and shows no interest in what you have to say and when you ask her questions she limits her answers to "yes" and "no" she has a problem. Can it be the relationship with you?

5. Is she causing arguments over stupid little things? If nothing you do or say isn't right anymore and all that goes wrong is your fault you can start to worry.

6. She refuses the presents you make. Women love to get presents, so if she turns yours down, she can feel guilty because she is thinking to break up with you, especially if you know she was about to buy that thing for herself.

7. She talks about divorce or break up of other people relationship, as a positive thing. Maybe a friend of her just has braked up with her boyfriend and now she is doing much better.

In the game of romance, few things are black and white. Most of the points above are assumptions based on commonly used techniques. There is room for interpretations and misunderstandings but all this can make you wonder if everything is ok and
discuss the problems you might have.


Live, Love, Learn.

by C.D. Madison

Dildo – Have Pleasure Now

Human beings always look for new and innovative ways of doing things. It is their basic instinct. So when modern, adventurous women embraced dildos, it was not to be surprised. A dildo has improved the art of sex making in a big way. Girls and lonely women can use it for vaginal penetration to get the feel of the male sex organ. Though dildos can not completely substitute penis, they have their own advantages. A dildo when used during intercourse can speed up the sex arousal in females and help them achieve a perfect orgasm. Men can also be benefited by dildos. They can effectively deal with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction problems.

A dildo means a sex tool having similarities with a penis in terms of appearance, thickness, shape and size. Recently, vibrators have entered the market to enhance the self-pleasure of women. The only difference between a dildo and a vibrator is that the vibrator vibrates and a dildo doesn’t. Dildos are used for penetration, while vibrators are normally used to stimulate the clitoris. Vibrators can have different shapes. If the vibrator has the shape of a penis or rod, it can also be used as a dildo.

The first time something enters your vagina the tissue around the vaginal opening can tear a little. This can cause some bleeding. With other girls this sometimes happens when they have intercourse for the first time. It’s nothing to worry about. If used properly a dildo won’t cause any harm. What you should not do is sharing a dildo with a girl friend. Unless you cover it with a condom, you may be at risk of a Sexually Transmitted Disease. If you also use the dildo anally and you go from the anus to the vagina, you must use and change condoms between insertions to avoid vaginal infection. Keep the dildo clean. Wash it regularly with water and soap.

Getting an access to these sex toys is very easy now. Online adult shopping website like E Nella Borsa has a large collection of sex toys like Dildo, G-Spot Vibrators, Penis Vibrators and Realistic Vibrators. All these tools are offered at attractively lower prices. The site always gives prime importance to the privacy of its customers. You can choose your own delivery options as well as timing.

Live, Love, Learn.

by C.D. Madison